My son, Cole, just got his learners license which awakes all types of new emotions for both of us. I am excited by his excitement and glad that he is moving toward this new level of mobility and freedom and I am very aware of the resulting freedom Kim and I will enjoy. The role of teaching Cole to drive seems to have defaulted to me and I and that is where my confession begins.
Cole has also decided to pick up the sport of tennis and has asked me to take him to play on several occasions. Again I am excited about this opportunity to be with Cole and the chance to return to the court my self. I spent several summers teaching tennis when I was in college. I have coached Cole in everything he has ever done, but this is a completely new endeavor for him and thus a chance for me to have a fresh start.
These new adventures have caused me to reflect over my previous attempts to invest in my son and have forced me to confess that I have not done a good job. I have tried hard. In fact, I have tried so hard that it has hurt more than it has helped. Looking back I have discovered that I have been too much of a coach to Cole and not enough Dad. He doesn’t need so much instruction from me. He needs love and encouragement.
So I am admitting my failure in the past and trying to keep from making the same mistakes in these new endeavors. They present me with a clean slate to become my boy’s biggest fan and loudest voice of encouragement. It is a different way to show love than I am accustomed, but I know it’s how he can receive it from me so I am going to learn to speak a new language.
How do those you love receive love? I am discovering that if you really love someone you will take the time to learn how they need to be loved and then love them that way.
