Conforming

I bought a car one time that I never intended to keep for very long. I had just changed jobs and had to travel a lot so I needed a vehicle that I could take on the road. But the stress indicators in my life were high. Within about two or three months: we moved into a new home, I started a new job, our one-year son had brain surgery and we had a baby girl. 

 

Obviously buying a car was not a high priority.  I picked out a little used white Honda civic. My first car out of college had been a BMW and then I traded to a classic red CJ7 Jeep with tons of personality. So when I bought this little civic I remember thinking, “I better never become this car”.

 

Soon “The pill”, which it was named because it looked like a little capsule became synonymous with me. I think I had the car for 8 or 9 years. It took me to two seminaries in two different states, both different than the one in which I lived.

 

I know we aren’t the cars we drive or the clothes we wear, but have you ever noticed how pet owners start looking like their pets? We conform to stuff and that scares me.  My Church is buying a building. We need it. It will provide us with incredible opportunities and I think it is a great thing. But I hope we don’t conform to it. Besides the fact that it is really ugly, we must fight the temptation to think the building is the church. WE ARE THE CHURCH. The building is just where the Church meets. I am trying to get our staff to not refer to this new location as “The Chapel”, but rather as “the place where The Chapel meets”. Some might think it only a small mater of semantics, but I think the concept is huge.

 People still ask about “the Pill”.

Growing?

This week I read a great book by Howard Hendricks entitled, “Teaching to Change lives”.  In the book he commented that you will not grow if you are not reading. (Just so you know he would define reading to include books, people, circumstances.) I was completely with him, but then he added this twist on the logic. If you are reading and not growing then you are reading too much and you are reading too much if you are not reflecting enough. Taking in information but not translating it into your life isn’t really learning. Consistent growth requires a constant processing and assimilating of new insights.  

So here are my reflections on this book:

#1 The law of the teacher: “If you stop growing today you will stop teaching tomorrow.”

#2 The Law of education: “The way people learn determines how you teach”

            Goal #1 – Teach people how to think

            Goal #2 – Teach people how to learn

            Goal #3 – Teach people how to work  

#3 The law of activity: “Maximum leaning is always the result of maximum meaningful

involvement.”

#4 The law of communication: “Find common ground with your students”

Ø      All communication has 3 components: intellectual, emotional, volition.

o       (thought, feeling, action)

Ø      “If I know something thoroughly, feel it deeply, and am doing it consistently, I have great potential for being an excellent communicator of it.”

#5 The law of the heart: “Teaching that impacts is not head to head but heart to heart”

Ø      Who you are as a person, your character is what makes what you say credible to your students

Ø      Your passion about what you say is what makes your students motivated to learn.

Ø      “You can impress people at a distance, but you can impact them only up close and the closer you are to them the greater and longer lasting the impact.”

 There are actually two more laws, which are just as good. I thought I would let you read those for your self.

Goodbye Rebecca

Another one of my friends died today. I have had more friends die this year than I care to remember. Actually Rebecca was really more the sister of my friend, but right now it feels like she was my best friend. Death has a way of doing that. The finality, at least from this side, of it seems to make the emotional ties stronger and more intense.

 

We were in our staff meeting when I got the call to let me know she had died. Several of us cried and the others prayed. Maybe the tears were our prayers.  There has been a lot of stuff happening lately that really makes me what to remind us all to live life to the fullest and grab every chance you get to show those you love how special they are to you.

 Take the time today to notice your feelings. Think about how special people are to you and make sure you spend your time on the things that are really important to you.

God prepares us!

The church where I am the pastor is facing another huge step of faith. Most of the people don’t even know it yet but we are moving into a time when our faith will be tested and we will be call to act on what we say we believe. It is the Degree all in moment. 

I am scared but excited as I prepare to lead my friends on this journey. God has clearly told me that the process is more important than the answer and I feel like He has laid out the process pretty clearly to me.

 

But here is what is really amazing me, I am currently doing “Experiencing God” with a group of men. This is my 3 or 4^th time doing this study but it is life transforming every time. At the end of each day’s study you are asked to write down what you think God is calling you to do in response to what He revealed to you during that study. Today I was asked to go back and review what God has been saying to me. Now remember that this goes back and covers more than 2 months and I just became aware of the stuff at church this week.

 

This is what God has been saying to me:

1)                  Surrender and Trust God IS in control.

2)                  Seek God and don’t worry about the results

a.       Pray

b.      Study

c.       Sabbath

3)                  Look for where God is already working

4)                  Simply follow God and trust He is doing stuff through me.

5)                  Walk with God

6)                  Pray more and watch more.

7)                  Relax in His hands

                  Listen to God and do what He says

9)                  Demonstrate my love to God by being more attentive to Him.

10)              Spend significant time with God

a.       Daily – Quiet times

b.      Weekly – Sabbath

c.       Monthly – Day of Prayer

d.      Yearly – Solitude Retreat

11)              Allow God to build my faith

12)              Take a step – one way or another move.

13)              Cultivate a constant state of worship in my soul

14)              Remember God IS doing what needs to be done.

15)              Spend time simply listening to God

16)              Build the staff before building a building

17)              Point people towards what God is doing.

18)              Look for God’s answers – Rely on Him

19)              Let God lead

 

God prepares us!

The church where I am the pastor is facing another huge step of faith. Most of the people don’t even know it yet but we are moving into a time when our faith will be tested and we will be call to act on what we say we believe. It is the Degree all in moment. 

I am scared but excited as I prepare to lead my friends on this journey. God has clearly told me that the process is more important than the answer and I feel like He has laid out the process pretty clearly to me.

 

But here is what is really amazing me, I am currently doing “Experiencing God” with a group of men. This is my 3 or 4^th time doing this study but it is life transforming every time. At the end of each day’s study you are asked to write down what you think God is calling you to do in response to what He revealed to you during that study. Today I was asked to go back and review what God has been saying to me. Now remember that this goes back and covers more than 2 months and I just became aware of the stuff at church this week.

 

This is what God has been saying to me:

1)                  Surrender and Trust God IS in control.

2)                  Seek God and don’t worry about the results

a.       Pray

b.      Study

c.       Sabbath

3)                  Look for where God is already working

4)                  Simply follow God and trust He is doing stuff through me.

5)                  Walk with God

6)                  Pray more and watch more.

7)                  Relax in His hands

                  Listen to God and do what He says

9)                  Demonstrate my love to God by being more attentive to Him.

10)              Spend significant time with God

a.       Daily – Quiet times

b.      Weekly – Sabbath

c.       Monthly – Day of Prayer

d.      Yearly – Solitude Retreat

11)              Allow God to build my faith

12)              Take a step – one way or another move.

13)              Cultivate a constant state of worship in my soul

14)              Remember God IS doing what needs to be done.

15)              Spend time simply listening to God

16)              Build the staff before building a building

17)              Point people towards what God is doing.

18)              Look for God’s answers – Rely on Him

19)              Let God lead

 

It’s hard being a Dad

Things started of fine as I dropped Summer off for her last first day in middle school.  We have done that for years now and so it was nothing new, only a few flitters of excitement. But then I had to take Cole to his very first first day of High school and that was a bit harder; perhaps not for him, but definitely for me. 

 

In my head I knew he would be fine. He would soon see some friends and merge into the culture without much pain.  I absolutely hated it though. I hated being the one who drove him there. I hated being the one who told him when and where to get out of the truck. He didn’t show any signs of anxiety, but I knew on the inside he was dreading taking his first steps into this foreign world full of strangers. Please don’t miss understand me, I know he will be fine, but that in no way lessens the intensity of the fear he was feeling at that moment and I felt like once again I was the one forcing him to go through the pain. I suspect we both knew that it was necessary and that it would ultimately lead to greater gain, but right then it felt like I was the source of the pain.

 

Maybe the whole experience was intensified because yesterday I had to take him to have another brain CAT scan. He is doing fine, but it reminded me of all the times I was the one holding him down when they gave him shots. I was the one who told him it wouldn’t hurt when it did. I was the one who kept saying “I know it is hard, but you need to…..because it will help you get better.” and it didn’t always.

 

It is hard being a Dad. Love motivates you to do what you think is best for your kids even when it causes them pain and makes them not like you so much. 

 

I can’t help but wonder if God sometimes feels the same way. In His perfect knowledge He knows what is really best for us and motivated by love I wonder if sometimes He says “no” to what we want and makes us face things we fear. I wonder if He loves me so much that He makes me experience things for my good even when it makes me anger because I can’t understand. 

 

Hey God, sorry for getting so mad.  I now see I didn’t understand. Really I still don’t understand, but I am trying to trust you. You know me, I will probably get mad again. So pleases know that even when I do somewhere deep inside I still know you love me and are doing what you know is actually best for me. Thanks for loving me enough to do what I need even when I don’t like it or you.  Please help me to be able to love my family like you love me.

 

And God – help all the teachers today.

 Amen

Softball Season Starts Tonight!

Tonight is the season opener for both of The Chapel’s softball teams. The Red team plays College Place who is fielding a large and strong team this year. The Green team opens up against the defending league champions, Wesley UMC. It is a cold night, but it should be some exciting softball tonight.

 

I can’t hit the ball as far as I use to and I don’t run as fast as I did. My reaction, at least outwardly is much slower than I remember. In my head I still dive and catch the ball, but in reality the only thing that moves is my eye as I watch the ball go past.

 

This is sort of an adjustment period for me as I learn what my body can and can’t do any more. I use to hit home runs and liked playing with others who hit them as well. I don’t suspect I will hit any this year. I can’t hit it far enough to go over the fence and I can’t run fast enough to make it around the bases if it doesn’t go over the fence, but I am okay with that. Age may have slowed my reflexes down a bit and reduced my power by a few decibels, but I think I am starting to get wiser. Over the years I have noticed in life that very few games are won with booming home runs, rather it is the team that consistently strings together base hit after base hit that wins most often.

 

I’m not really thinking about softball here. I am talking about life. Rarely is it the one big thing that makes the great impact. It is the consistent pattern that produces lasting results. Sure big bangs create showy spectacles, but it is the silent practice that goes unnoticed for seasons that ultimate creates the true champions.

 Spiritual growth works the same. An occassional home run is nice, a mountaintop experience on a retreat or a particularly meaningful worship experience, but it is the day in and day out discpiline of seeking God and paying the cost that truly produces a godly character.  So go out there and hit a single for team, every time you get up to bat!

A “no huddle” life

Spent some significant time with my wife and several other couples last week. During our time together Kim, that’s my wife, said that we too often run our life like a Payton Manning offense. No huddle just a lot of hollering and running around. Now Kim is really not a football fan, so I was shocked and impressed by the analogy. However, I couldn’t help but point out that his team did win the Super Bowl. But she had a great point. Our lives too often appear out of control. Now we know that to effectively run an offense without a huddle requires endless hours of preparation and planning, but to the untrained eye I bet it does often look like chaos. Kim and I have decided we are going to invest more time in praying, planning and preparing so that our “no huddle” life will actually be so organized we can win the big game.

A letter to my brother – and lawyer.

I think, if we didn’t know, we at least suspected, I would be in the need of legal counsel for much of my life. Perhaps that is why you decided to become a lawyer. Well, the counsel I have turned out needing may not have been the type we thought I would need, but it is a need none-the-less.

Today’s legal question:  Our tradition or custom or at least regular practice on the way to school each morning has been to alternate who gets to sit in the front seat. Today Cole raised the question (from the back seat) as to why we did that rather than simply allowing the oldest, him, to always sit in the front. I, in a moment of complete stupidity, said, “I hear your point. State your case.” To which he quickly replied:

1. Look at the sign on the visor, which says children 12 and under should sit in the back seat. (He expanded on the concept with the logic that the most loving thing to do is protect your child and that to allow someone under 13 to sit in the front is at the least unloving and perhaps even criminal.) 2. That the oldest should lead the way and experience things before the younger. There should be some distinction and developmental progress to maturing. (Not exactly his words). 

My initial reaction was amazement at how well he thought out and articulated his argument and then my response was; “I think you have a very good point and you have stated your case well, but I just don’t think it is an argument you can win.” He obviously asked, “why not” to which I said, “Well, the truth is it would be just too hard to undo what we have already started.” He said, “That is not right”. He didn’t say it in an argumentative way. He said it in a grieved stating of a horrific injustice that might be the way it is, but it certainly not the way it should be.

 As we reached the school and the kids unloaded, Summer from the front and Cole from the back. Cole simply said, “Just think about it”, which I assured him I would. So I am writing for wise legal counsel on the most appropriate course of action. (I use the word appropriate in the place of right for I fear my birth order may prejudice my interpretation of what is right) During this thought process I couldn’t help but realize I am having a logical debate with my soon to be 14 year old son about his wanting to have the right to sit in the front seat. In the first place to have a logical discussion with a teenage is a miracle in and of it self. The fact that we are talking and not fighting is proof that there is a God and that the independence he is seeking is to sit in the front sit is a blessing which should not be taken for granted or over looked. So while I am tempted to dismiss the whole thing as “no big deal” I am reminded of how the issues beneath the surface are huge and if some satisfaction is not found the methods of searching will certainly escalate. OR maybe they are going to escalate anyway. Please send sound legal advise before school lets out today.  

(the following comments are published WITHOUT permission – probably against legal advise) 

Comments:      From: Jeffrey Hanson             Sent: Friday, January 05, 2007 9:04 AM I will take this matter under consideration and get back to you, but my initial reaction is to make two observations.  First, in this instance Cole reminds me of another older brother.  Second, that other older brother is clearly (and correctly) concerned about the passion that can be fueled and the frustration that can stew as the result of a parental answer or action,which cannot withstand logical scrutiny.                          

Finally, you will see that I am seeking additional outside counsel from someone who can help analyze the issues from the broader perspective of a three child family.

Comment: From Jay Jordon

Or you could just yell at him and say, “Quit the whining before I get out the yard stick!” Let me give that a few moments of thought.  I am amazed at the maturity and my first reaction is that I would like to see the behavior rewarded and encouraged in some way.  The other thing that I am amazed at is the other rider in the front seat is not quoted below as immediately objecting to the mear thought of such a request.  Perhaps the objection was not verbalized in this email, but if there really was no verbal and disdaining objection, then even allowing the conversation to take place is another sign of maturity and young wisdom. It would be interesting to me to know what the conversation would be if the younger child was taken aside and asked, “This seems like it is important to Cole, what do you think I should do?” I suppose that this issue is two fold for the older brother, one is the establishment of sibling hierarchy within the family, but also being seen as having social status in front of his peers. I’ll think it over as I run an errand. 

Comment:       From: Jeffrey Hanson        Sent: Fri 1/5/2007 9:12 AM

Isn’t there a way to make their mom take them?

Comment:      From: Kim Hanson      Sent” Fri 1/5/2007

I took them for the first 6 years, now it’s your turn.

I am starting to see God is bigger than I thought!

God is doing some retooling of my thought in a deep place within me. I am living in Job 35-42 these days. I try to read it as often as possible and simple allow the logic to sink into my understanding.  Here is my reflection from my time with God today:

 

Job 36:26 “How great is god – beyond our understanding! The number of his years is past finding out.”

 

“God can be known BUT He can not be fully known. To simply not seek to know him is foolish and displays a lack of understanding, love and appreciation. YET to even imagine that you “know God” is an arrogant error, which reveals not only ignorance but also a very limited scope of understanding.  To view what we know of God as “knowing God” demonstrates a view of God, which is very small.”

 Perhaps I am splitting hairs, but it is where God has me right now. Perhaps another time I will need and He will reveal His nearness to me. But for this season I think I need and He is allowing me to discover His completely otherness, His set apartness, His holiness. God is unaffected by me.